How to Be Inclusive AF This Valentine’s Day
- and other days too
Hey, BadAss Inclusive AF Crew!
I’m here to drop some knowledge like candy hearts on the floor at a class party. 🎉
Valentine's Day is around the corner, and honestly? It’s the perfect time to reevaluate how we approach love, connection, and inclusivity—because all those Pinterest fails and construction-paper hearts slapped on bulletin boards aren’t gonna cut it anymore. (PLEASE don’t ask about the strawberry, white chocolate Chex Mix.🤣)
Listen, Valentine’s Day can be straight-up exclusionary. During my Senior year, my boyfriend broke up with me just a few days before V-Day. I was devastated that I would not be on the receiving end of an obnoxious balloon bouquet or huge vase of roses. (I also worked at our local flower shop so I KNEW how many people were getting shit and how many were NOT ME!)
I realize the world is not fair. However, Candygrams for some, while others sit empty-handed? Couples glorified like single folks don’t exist? Gender norms shoved down our throats in with cars or princesses? Nah.
We can do better. Scratch that—we have to do better. If we’re creating spaces where people feel left out, we’re failing. Period.
It’s Not That Hard, Y’all
Inclusivity doesn’t mean tossing out everything you know about Valentine’s Day. It means shifting the focus. Less Hallmark, more human. Here’s how to make your classroom, workplace, or personal life more inclusive—and not just on February 14 but every fucking day.
1. Equal Love for Everyone
Start breaking down the special-for-some, awkward-for-others dynamic. If you’re in charge of a class, team, or party, don't single people out. Make sure everyone feels celebrated, regardless of their relationship status, gender identity, or who they love.
Teachers, ditch the obligatory valentine-giving where rules get fuzzy and someone always ends up crying (you know I’m right). Institute a "no kid left behind" rule, or better yet, make it about kindness. Have students write compliments or messages that show appreciation for one another. No partner required.
Workplaces, leave the couple-y crap at the door. Celebrate team love, squad shoutouts, or a culture where collaboration gets its props. No awkward plus-one convos. Just good vibes all around. I have a #JOYFullWorkplaces Guide to Compliment Circles and Shout Outs coming soon! If you are a Paid, VIP Member, you will get it for FREE!
2. Blow Up Gender Norms
Stop focusing on the “pink for girls, blue for boys” or specific toys, books, shows or clothes nonsense. Gender is a construct and love isn’t just for princes and princesses. It’s for everyone, and it comes in every shade. Make room for all identities and expressions—because nothing screams “we don’t care about you” like labels that don’t fit. Use neutral language. Open the floor for all kinds of connections. You might just watch your classroom or office turn into a real community.
3. WTF Is Romantic Love, Anyway?
Spoiler alert—it’s not the only kind of love that matters. Friendship, self-love, respect, mentorship, allyship—the list is endlessly better than a cheap box of chocolates. Shift the day’s vibe from “Who are you dating?” to “Who makes your life awesome?” Celebrate those relationships. Bring that energy in.
Pro tips:
Host Galentine’s and Palentine’s.
Do a “random acts of kindness” chain instead of cringe-worthy cupid memes. You can also share a #RandomActsOfInclusion post.
Write a LOVE letter to yourself about how freaking amazing you are.
4. Be Sweet About Everyone’s Treats
Acknowledging food allergies and dietary preferences isn’t just a kind gesture—it’s Inclusive AF. For some, it’s not just about preferences; food allergies can be life-threatening. Think beyond chocolate hearts and mystery treats—offer options everyone can enjoy safely. Provide ingredient lists if you aren’t sure. Nothing says “I CARE” like creating a celebration where everyone feels seen, valued, and snack-happy.
5. Learn. Grow. Check Yourself.
Being Inclusive AF isn’t just a one-day flex; it’s an everyday decision. Ask yourself if you're perpetuating outdated traditions. Are your assumptions leaving someone out or shutting someone down? Newsflash—it’s never too late to change. Educate yourself on diverse perspectives. Pay attention. And when you know better, do better.
Beyond Valentine's Day
Here’s where it gets real—Valentine’s Day is a microcosm of life. The way we celebrate can either keep people boxed in or broaden our understanding of love, acceptance, and equality. I’m begging you—opt for the latter.
Build classrooms, communities, and relationships where nobody feels “othered.” Make inclusion so freaking normal it becomes unremarkable—just the way it should be.
Here’s Your Homework:
Before you toss sprinkles on a store-bought cupcake or slap a Valentine on a desk, ask yourself two questions:
Is this inclusive?
Does this celebrate love in all its glorious forms?
If not, do better. I know you can.
Stay bold, stay messy, and for the love of all things glittery—spread joy like it’s your job.
Who knows, you might just find that celebrating inclusively takes Valentine’s Day (and life) to a whole new level.
Catch y’all on the flip side,
Janifer
Your JOYFull BadAss with a HEART FULL of Sass